I was recently overcome with the desire to start drawing a multi-page comic, something I haven’t really done in three years. It’s a little too early to talk about what the comic is about specifically, especially because the concepts and characters are still swimming around in my head and anything and everything is subject to change.

What I want to talk about is fear. It’s a specific kind of fear, and I don’t know to what extent it applies to others. At the beginning of the creative process, I get an idea, and occasionally it turns out to be a good one. But then fear sets in. What this fear says is, “I’m not good enough to do this. I shouldn’t be doing this at all. I should improve my basic skills before I even consider doing something.” Improving one’s skills separate from the project at hand is not something I believe as necessary, but it’s in that moment of fear and hesitation that it seems to resonate and overwhelm other thoughts.

Ultimately, it comes down to the (unreasonable) idea that the mistakes might tarnish the eternal soul of the creative work. If I release it to the wild that consists of the eyes of others, calling it a final product, and it’s not good enough, then there won’t be a second chance. That’s the sort of thinking that is so threatening to the life of a project. It really is dangerous thinking, too. This poison concocted from the fear of consequence, fear of failure, and fear of the unknown can paralyze body and spirit, and make any goal seem unattainable. Again, it’s not something that holds up when I’m able to distance myself, but when caught up in the middle it can take a toll on my confidence if only for the briefest of moments.

I tend to eventually overcome these mental roadblocks, though the more I think about it, the more I see that this doesn’t only apply to the creative process. There are many aspects of life where fear is the ball and hesitation is the chain, and I’ve yet to unshackle. Maybe if I can think of it this way, I can move forward.