Hey, Japan. I know you keep trying to remake Cowboy Bebop to tap into the American market. You think, “Americans must like American things!” and you’d be pretty much right. But I’m gonna give you a tip on the down-low about something that’s so American that you’re sure to see dudes dropping dollar bills while they eat hot dogs and sing the Star-Spangled Banner.

Picture a youth traveling the country with a bag over his shoulders, never satisfied with staying in one place, always looking for the next challenge. Is he a Martial Artist? A Traveler? A Drift Racer? No, he is a Stand-up Comedian.

Meet the rival who cannot forgive anyone who steals jokes. Meet the beautiful girl in the crowd who follows our hero to all of his events but the hero’s too oblivious to notice. Get a narrator who will explain the nuance and power of each joke dropped by the hero as his audience sits gasping.

It’s the kind of thing that could go on for hundreds of episodes or just three and it would have the ability to be good either way.

No need to thank me, Japan. Any check you cut, just commission Kio Shimoku to draw a life-size Ogiue poster to mail to me.