A few months back I was fortunate enough, blessed, I might say, to have the opportunity watch two incredible animated classics: Psychic Wars and Crystal Triangle.

Seeing those two OVAs on the same day made me aware of just how similar these two fine works are. Both concern heroes in noble professions who must confront an ancient inhuman race of evil beings who wish to once again replace humans as the dominant species of the planet using the most nonsense logic and power set possible. I know that describes a lot of bad 80s OVAs but these two in particular are so alike that if the world were a little different, I think that we’d be seeing not a crossover between all of the Pretty Cure girls or Naruto, Luffy, and Goku, but one between Psychic War’s Retsu Ukyou and Crystal Triangle’s Kamishiro Kouichirou. Or at the very least arguing about who would win in a fight.

Actually, we could do that right now. Let’s compare our two heroes.

Retsu Ukyou: Surgeon, visited by ancient spirits who give him “Psychic Powers,” which apparently means being able to summon swords and spears out of thin air. Shirt has a tendency to rip open to reveal his mighty pecs. Travels back in time to fight evil beasts whose goal is to travel into the future so that they can wipe out humanity. Does the nasty with a girl who turns out to be their last surviving member.

Kamishiro Kouichirou: World-famous archaeologist, gained his “Upanishad” powers and his ability to read “Jindai Moji” by studying with monks. Upanishad in this case manifests itself as the ability to shoot lasers out of magical batons. Shirt also has a tendency to burst open to further emphasize masculinity. Fights an evil over ten million years old that consists of alien buddhist monk dinosaurs who have been waiting for an evil star to empower them so that they can take over the world once more. Does not do the nasty with the girl who is the catalyst for the evil monsters’ return, but would have.

You’d think Kamishiro would definitely have the advantage with his Upanishad giving him a range advantage, but I’m pretty sure Retsu would be able to think of a way to get in close, where his superior close combat weapons would give him the edge. Ultimately though, the fight would come down to a matter of wits and cunning, as both men are incredibly resourceful and would be trying out-think the other. Is Retsu standing near any crates of dynamite, for instance? Well maybe he is, but it’s actually a trap to lure Kamishiro to attack, during which Retsu would use his knowledge of human anatomy to deliver a knock-out spear. But of course Kamishiro is too smart for that.

It’s a complex scenario which far transcends any intellectual battles by Lelouch and Schneizel, Kira and L, and Encyclopedia Brown and Wilford Wiggins.

Now, if the two of them could team up to fight the Most Dangerous Soldier known as Geist, then we’d have a real Japanimation on our hands.