Nickelodeon Turtles, Heroes in a Gak Shell

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I will tell you that I know exactly zero people who found out about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles being sold to Nickelodeon and didn’t have a strong reaction about it. Generally, the reaction from people, including myself, was surprise. Where did this come from? Isn’t TMNT celebrating its 25th anniversary? What’s going to become of our beloved childhood franchise? Reading comments on blogs and such, including Peter Laird’s, a lot of people think that there’s something wrong with the move. As someone who’s been around Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for pretty much all of my life, I’d like to talk about it a little, and what the future might hold in store for fans of the series.

A lot of people around my age, when they think TMNT, remember the 80s series and its cowabungas and Krang and questionable pizzas. They’ll say the new 2003 and on series produced by 4Kids just isn’t the same as the original. Of course, the funny thing about this is that in the eyes of many fans of the ORIGINAL TMNT, that is, the Mirage Comics created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, the 80s cartoon was a travesty. I think even Eastman and Laird regarded it in that manner for a long time, much like how Tomino Yoshiyuki saw the Gundam franchise. But just like Tomino, they came to terms with how, while the 80s series didn’t really live up to their image and intent for TMNT, it still possessed a lot of fine qualities which made it so memorable and enduring.

One of the franchise’s main strengths is that its core concept is hardy enough to be twisted and molded into thematically very different stories. The original comics started as a parody but eventually became their own gritty universe. The 80s cartoon was fun and light-hearted and encouraged kids to pick favorites and eat pizza, like what Naruto does with kids now and ramen. The 2003 cartoon was somewhere between the two, with an emphasis on both toys sales and character development, possibly best represented by the time the turtles all went into the future and stayed there for a really long time. The TMNT movies got progressively worse, and they had Vanilla Ice, but I know I am not the only one who thought Go Ninja Go was the greatest thing ever as a kid. So while I might cringe at the thought of Nickelodeon trying to replicate that 80s success today, an attempt which would require a LOT of changes seeing as the old cartoon is really a product of that era, I’m also confident that it’s not going to ruin the franchise any more than any of the other adaptations have sullied its name. And who knows? Maybe we’ll get another Avatar out of the deal.

On another note entirely, have you ever seen how the 80s cartoon portrays sushi? You’d think that it wasn’t animated by Japanese people at all! I get the feeling that when they were drawing it, no one told them it was supposed to be sushi. I wish I had a screenshot to show you guys what I mean.

Relating to NES Sprites

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Whenever I say there’s something special about video game graphics during the NES/Master System era, some will believe that it’s simply due to nostalgia, while others will agree with me, but won’t be able to explain why. Sometimes those who agree with me will even chalk it up to nostalgia themselves. I however believe that there are concrete reasons as to why the level of graphics that the 8-bit systems achieved for home consoles holds such significance, and I’d like to discuss one of them here. I’m going to be using mainly NES graphics and not Master System ones, because 1) the NES was more popular and 2) the Master System actually had better graphics overall, and we want to look at the less-good.


From left to right: Berzerk, Robot from Berzerk, Circus


From left to right: Mario, Megaman, Karnov

What is the significant feature that the characters below all have in common that the characters above do not, aside from obvious graphical quality improvements?

Answer: They have faces.

This makes it easier to identify with them as characters, and gives them a sense of personality. In the NES era, the graphics were strong enough on the popular consoles to portray characters’ faces and to give them facial expressions, even if it’s the same expression all the time. This is important because we as humans tend to see ourselves in our surroundings. Scott McCloud talks about this a good deal in Understanding Comics, but it really is something fundamental. Two dots and and a line becomes a face. A semi-circle shape can be a smile or a frown depending on which way it’s facing. It allows players to identify with the characters.

While this does not take into account those games which feature primarily vehicles or objects inanimate objects, my focus is not so much on them, as I believe they have a somewhat similar appeal, only focused on their fantastical realism rather than their human quality.

Even those characters who practically had no eyes, noses, or mouths still benefited from the 8-bit graphical quality, as it allowed the games to clearly delineate an area of the body as the head.


From left to right: Simon Belmont, Bill Rizer, Ryu Hayabusa

This was especially useful in portraying characters with more human proportions as opposed to the big-headed cartoonish sprites from before, as it allowed the characters to seem realistic on the NES while again still giving them some sense of personality.

That is not to say that faces on sprites were a wholly unique experience to the 8-bit era. The NES and the Master System were not the first consoles to regularly portray characters with faces, with that honor probably going to the Colecovision in 1982. However, the difference here is a matter of timing, as 1983 was also the year of the North American Video Game Crash, and so in the minds of most people, graphics went from Atari to Nintendo, and if you look at the graphics of that era, they more often than not could barely differentiate a head from a neck, with one notable exception being Pitfall for the Atari 2600. Hey, it’s not all art and discovery.

The 8-Bit NES era was when graphics were good enough so that almost anyone who made a game for the console could give a sprite a face (and in essence, a personality), and thanks to good timing also was when video games were again popular enough to be a common feature in households. Graphics were certainly not the only factor in endearing the NES (and to a lesser extent the Master System) to young gamers, but as humans are visual creatures, graphics played a significant role in implanting the memories of these games into their minds.

Celebrating the C-Class of the C-Class: Black Dynamite and Animexploitation

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Last night, I had the fortune of seeing the Blaxploitation Homage/Parody Black Dynamite, and it was fantastic. Despite not being familiar with blaxploitation films. The closest I’ve ever gotten to watching anything like that was The Last Dragon, which I’m kind of sure doesn’t even count. Anyway, fun was had by all, and for a good review you should read the one over at Subatomic Brainfreeze. And if you have the opportunity to go see it, go see it. Because you have the opportunity.

When I got home, Sub linked me to an interview with Scott Sanders and Michael Jai White, co-creators of Black Dynamite (with White playing the movie’s titular character), and something there caught my interest. In it, they said that their goal was not to make Black Dynamite representative of the apogee of blaxploitation cinema, but the films that were made when studios realized they had a successful formula on their hands, and sought to milk that cash cow for all it was worth. They wanted to celebrate the films which went through a checklist of items,  from the rich white guy by the pool side, to the hot bitches, to the liberal application of kung fu, all wrapped in a packaging of shoddy cinematography and excessively expository dialogue. They wanted to celebrate the successful, yet mediocre blaxploitation films in all their film school-reject glory.

It’s an unusual idea I think, in any sort of media, to look fondly upon those works which were just kind of okay at best and weren’t terribly deep, but which sold and made names for themselves. Even in anime discussion, we usually celebrate the so-bad-it’s-good works while shunning the mediocre. And with anime the way it is now, people accuse it of running through checklists, utilizing excessively expository dialogue, and exploiting anime fans to make ultra-formulaic shows. Which they might be, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun with it.

From the bit of reading on blaxploitation I’ve done since yesterday (which obviously makes me an expert, right?), the genre came about when US movie studios, suffering the lowest revenues in about 20-30 years, realized that the African Americans were spending a large amount of money in the theaters and so decided to specifically target them by making movies for black people about black people. Much like Super Hero Comics fans and figure-buying moe fans, they became the target audience for relevant genres of entertainment media, for better or worse, because they had the money. Creativity aside, companies would like nothing more than for your dollars to go into their pockets so that they can keep making new works and continue to profit.

That’s the way things go, and much like how Black Dynamite really celebrates the genre of film it’s parodying, warts and all, I have to wonder how fans and creators in the future will regard the anime that comes out now. Maybe in ten to twenty years, we’ll be seeing throwbacks to those old shows of 2009. Not remakes, and not references to the ones that made you think, but the ones that told you, John Animefan, that there’s some kung fu and titties and nekomimi nurse maids in this show so why shouldn’t you watch it?

Welcome Back, Tange Sakura

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Kinomoto Sakura, the heroine of Cardcaptor Sakura, is one of the most beloved anime characters of all time. Full of energy, enthusiasm, and a drive to find happiness for everyone with mixed an innocent girlishness, Sakura became what is essentially the lofty goal of most moe characters. She tugs at the heartstrings in a convincing manner, gets you rooting for her as she goes out to face the next challenge, and is both believable and fantastic. A good portion of this power and majesty (at least in the anime!) lies in her voice actor, Tange Sakura.

Tange Sakura to certain otaku such as myself is one of the finest voice actors ever, due mainly to the convincing humanity she puts into her roles. But then a  few years back Sakura retired from the world of voice acting, right around time anime really started to take off around the world, leaving a small semi-generation of anime fans unfamiliar with her abilities. But now she’s back, and I have to say few things are as momentous in anime voice acting as the return of Tange Sakura. I don’t know why she left, or why she’s decided to come back, but it is welcome news.

So far she’s played a character in the video game Love Plus, with her first anime role since her retirement being the vampire Hatori Kanon in Anyamaru Tantei Kirumins (which if I were to try to translate into English would be something like “Animeow Detective Mascots”). It’s definitely Sakura all right, though she doesn’t get very many lines. She’s also working with a mix of relatively new voice actors, and some people she’s worked with before, namely Tanaka Hideyuki (Sakura’s dad in CCS). I wonder if anyone out there is watching this show just for her, and not say, because it’s directed by Kawamori Shouji (Various Macross seres, Escaflowne, Aquarion).

I would not be surprised if that were the case, and wouldn’t really mind anyone watching this show in particular for the voice actor(s).

“Fascinating, Human. Tell Me More About This…Position of the Missionaries.”

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Imagine you’re standing on the beach, when suddenly a UFO appears, and out of a beam of light descends a being not like any you’ve seen before. The alien, speaking some intelligible tongue, seeming to concentrate for a moment, then turns to you and opens its mouth.

“Describe to me, this… ‘vagina.'”

You fumble for the right words, but realizing that as an alien he may have no understanding of Earth culture, you look for something as a point of reference. Finding a bed of mussels, you grab one and continue your description.

A number of people have written about Tsukihime and Fate/Stay Night writer Nasu and his penchant for describing female genitalia using mollusk-themed vocabulary. When you think about it though, it’s a good physical description for someone like an extraterrestrial who has never seen human female reproductive anatomy. And with the nature of censorship in Japanese pornography, it’s possible (though perhaps unlikely, given the power of the internet in this age) that a virgin in Japan has never seen a real vagina, in photos or otherwise.

So in conclusion, Type Moon is simply preparing for the future when we will make contact with our brothers across the stars.

Stupid Emperor Baseball Girls

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I’ve been reading up a little about Japanese history as of late, and one interesting bit is that the Taisho Emperor was reported as something of a numb-skull. Described as “aloof” and “feeble-minded,” the most famous story is the time he rolled up a document in order to peer through it like a telescope in front of his ministers and officials. He was never allowed in public again. In light of the recent display of 1920s Japanese girls engaging in America’s Favorite Pastime in the form of Taisho Yakyuu Musume, my first reaction was wondering how the existence of a less-than-good Emperor might cast a dubious shadow on the show and its setting.

My second reaction however, was the realization that no moment in history is truly idyllic, even if it might be a lot harder to write about the happy times fighting in the trenches of World War I than it is to portray 1950s America as an A-OK happy fun time (as TV shows from that era often did). If I started looking at TYM from that perspective, I’d probably have to do with every period piece of fiction ever, and that’s not a road I’m willing to travel down.

There might have been some riots during the time Koume and Akiko were learning how to throw a ball, but forcibly attaching the politics of the era to what is supposed to be a harmless show about girls learning about self-improvement (with some yuri humor on the side) would be a definite problem that likely would be purely for my own smug satisfaction, which is the last thing I’d want.

Pronouncin’ Them Anime Words

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For a long time, I was bothered by really inaccurate pronunciations of anime words. I can tell you of the time I was in the comic store and heard a guy remarking that there was a ton of “magna.” I’m sure you’ve seen the people talking about how Sa-soo-ke is their favorite Naruto character. Then something changed.

I’m not sure if it was the realization that as much as I’ve studied Japanese, my own language skills aren’t perfect, but at some point I realized that there’s a good deal of futility in trying to change the way people pronounce Japanese words, particularly anime ones. Even the word “anime” itself falls under this scrutiny. Some people say “annimay” because it’s closer to the word animation, others try to go full on with the Japanese pronunciation with “ah-nee-meh,” and you’ll hear variations every which way. Who’s right? Is there any need to have a right or a wrong pronunciation, as long as we understand one another? Should we be criticizing people who pronounce “karaoke” the non-Japanese way? What if you say it the Japanese way and people have no idea what you’re saying? Should we be criticizing people who pronounce any foreign word outside of the pronunciation in its original language?

English has tons of variations even within the United States, let alone the rest of the world, and while those variations aren’t as drastic as, say, the dialects in China, the result is that you get a whole slew of differing pronunciations for the same word. And then you want to throw Japanese words on top of that?

It’s crazy I tell you.

THAT FAT GUY IS AMURO RAY

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When I first went to see Paprika in theaters, one thing that caught my attention was the voices. At first, I could not pinpoint them. Who is the main character? I know I’ve heard her voice before… And then it hit me: Hayashibara Megumi, that most prolific of 90s voice actors (who’s still doing work today and has recently written her own book), was the voice behind Paprika. Then another voice struck me. THAT FAT GUY IS AMURO RAY! I felt the desire to jump out of my seat and shout, “AHA!” but decided against it. Unfortunately for me though, I was not accompanied to the theater by any friends who were particularly into anime, so I could not share my discoveries at the time.

There are anime fans who have watched just as much if not more than I have, who are unable to pick up on a character being voiced by an actor from their favorite series, but there are also anime fans who have watched far less than me who are able to pick up on the subtle nuances of a voice and determine, despite any sort of wild differences in the voices used for the two characters, that the same actor plays these roles. And they’re not even always seiyuu otaku!

What is it that makes some people more able to recognize voice actors than others? I’m not applying this solely to Japanese seiyuu, but rather voice actors in general from Frank Welker to Kamiya Akira. I don’t consider myself to have a keen sense of hearing, so I can’t say I’m particularly tuned to any difficult-to-perceive aspects of voices, but when I do notice a recognizable voice, it generally has to do with something that one role has in common with another, even if those roles vary wildly. Of course, I don’t always get it right, and there are times when a voice hits me but I just cannot pinpoint it. I don’t know, I unfortunately do not have the proper vocabulary to explain it.

Perhaps someone with greater knowledge of voices and audio could explain better.

Trapeze is Not an Anime for Anime Fans

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A number of people have criticized the current Fall season of anime for having too many cliched shows, too many moe shows, and most important of all, for having no giant robot shows at all. “Where are the good anime that’s meant for us?” they might lament. Well, Trapeze is here to tell you that it’s different from the rest, but to some it might be a little too different.

Whereas Kaiba was the kind of highly artistic anime which could still attract viewers with a strong plot, relatable and interesting characters, and a visual style which, while unusual, is still clean and pleasing to the eye overall, Trapeze (or “Kuuchuu Buranko”) has none of those “concessions,” and just straight up presents itself as a bit of a nonsense show, even if it actually isn’t. Don’t be fooled by that cute blond in all the promotional images, this is not a show about a kid who loves to dress silly.

You might ask, “Why would anyone watch it, if it’s got not much of a plot, no good characters, and is ugly?” Well, that’s the reason Trapeze might not be for you the anime fan, whether you’re the type of fan who is looking for sweeping narrative and grandiose storytelling, or you’re the type of fan who mainly cares about the characters themselves. In fact, it’s kind of hard to actually call it an “anime” at all. Now, you can be an anime fan and still like Trapeze and quite a bit, but you’ll have to be aware of the likely possibility that you’re not gonna like it as you would most shows.

The way I would describe Trapeze would be 1/3 Shinbo Akiyuki (director of Zetsubou Sensei and Hidamari Sketch), 1/3 Yuasa Masaaki (director of Kaiba and Kemonozume), and 1/3 Tom Snyder (creator of Home Movies and Dr. Katz). Does that make it a good show? Honestly, my opinion is still up in the air after only one episode. What I will say though is that while I enjoyed the first episode, it’s the kind of show that probably wouldn’t be good to marathon. It’s kind of an intentionally abrasive show, and I don’t know how many people could handle that. It’s like eating corned beef hash; tastes great, but eat a little too much a little too often and you suddenly start to get sick of it.

Non-Psychic Psychic Sword vs Hindu Magic Lasers

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A few months back I was fortunate enough, blessed, I might say, to have the opportunity watch two incredible animated classics: Psychic Wars and Crystal Triangle.

Seeing those two OVAs on the same day made me aware of just how similar these two fine works are. Both concern heroes in noble professions who must confront an ancient inhuman race of evil beings who wish to once again replace humans as the dominant species of the planet using the most nonsense logic and power set possible. I know that describes a lot of bad 80s OVAs but these two in particular are so alike that if the world were a little different, I think that we’d be seeing not a crossover between all of the Pretty Cure girls or Naruto, Luffy, and Goku, but one between Psychic War’s Retsu Ukyou and Crystal Triangle’s Kamishiro Kouichirou. Or at the very least arguing about who would win in a fight.

Actually, we could do that right now. Let’s compare our two heroes.

Retsu Ukyou: Surgeon, visited by ancient spirits who give him “Psychic Powers,” which apparently means being able to summon swords and spears out of thin air. Shirt has a tendency to rip open to reveal his mighty pecs. Travels back in time to fight evil beasts whose goal is to travel into the future so that they can wipe out humanity. Does the nasty with a girl who turns out to be their last surviving member.

Kamishiro Kouichirou: World-famous archaeologist, gained his “Upanishad” powers and his ability to read “Jindai Moji” by studying with monks. Upanishad in this case manifests itself as the ability to shoot lasers out of magical batons. Shirt also has a tendency to burst open to further emphasize masculinity. Fights an evil over ten million years old that consists of alien buddhist monk dinosaurs who have been waiting for an evil star to empower them so that they can take over the world once more. Does not do the nasty with the girl who is the catalyst for the evil monsters’ return, but would have.

You’d think Kamishiro would definitely have the advantage with his Upanishad giving him a range advantage, but I’m pretty sure Retsu would be able to think of a way to get in close, where his superior close combat weapons would give him the edge. Ultimately though, the fight would come down to a matter of wits and cunning, as both men are incredibly resourceful and would be trying out-think the other. Is Retsu standing near any crates of dynamite, for instance? Well maybe he is, but it’s actually a trap to lure Kamishiro to attack, during which Retsu would use his knowledge of human anatomy to deliver a knock-out spear. But of course Kamishiro is too smart for that.

It’s a complex scenario which far transcends any intellectual battles by Lelouch and Schneizel, Kira and L, and Encyclopedia Brown and Wilford Wiggins.

Now, if the two of them could team up to fight the Most Dangerous Soldier known as Geist, then we’d have a real Japanimation on our hands.