“Fascinating, Human. Tell Me More About This…Position of the Missionaries.”

Imagine you’re standing on the beach, when suddenly a UFO appears, and out of a beam of light descends a being not like any you’ve seen before. The alien, speaking some intelligible tongue, seeming to concentrate for a moment, then turns to you and opens its mouth.

“Describe to me, this… ‘vagina.'”

You fumble for the right words, but realizing that as an alien he may have no understanding of Earth culture, you look for something as a point of reference. Finding a bed of mussels, you grab one and continue your description.

A number of people have written about Tsukihime and Fate/Stay Night writer Nasu and his penchant for describing female genitalia using mollusk-themed vocabulary. When you think about it though, it’s a good physical description for someone like an extraterrestrial who has never seen human female reproductive anatomy. And with the nature of censorship in Japanese pornography, it’s possible (though perhaps unlikely, given the power of the internet in this age) that a virgin in Japan has never seen a real vagina, in photos or otherwise.

So in conclusion, Type Moon is simply preparing for the future when we will make contact with our brothers across the stars.

9 thoughts on ““Fascinating, Human. Tell Me More About This…Position of the Missionaries.”

  1. That logic is a bunch of crap. Japanese people have the same freaking Internet as everyone else here, perhaps even better considering they’ve got more bandwidth than we do. I therefore move that finding uncensored porn is so simple a kid can do it (just like the kids here!), regardless of the fact that it’s not produced in the country which they reside.

    Type Moon is just run by a bunch of crazed deviants.

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  2. I figured if Type_moon was invoked I should pipe up. But only after everyone else has forgotten about this post. That is called being stealthy.

    Oh Type-Moon! Daryl is obviously correct. Type-Moon is run by crazed deviants. They just happen to be crazed deviants I enjoy. I love you guys but much like Tomino you are an acquired taste clearly influenced by sheer madness.

    That being said I have yet to see anyone whose porn writing does not come off as somewhat silly. It just happens that Nasu’s porn writing is extra special. To get back on topic I wonder how much the awkwardness of anything about sex comes from it being odd and how much of it comes from people thinking it is awkward therefore it becomes awkward. Basically is the awkwardness of sex merely a self fulfilling prophecy?

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