Nattou, that Japanese food which divides families and shatters nations but which I love immensely, is hard to come by in the Netherlands, so when a friend said he knew a way to get some, I knew what had to be done. Upon receiving it, I had a strange epiphany, to combine it with another food which embodies cultural adaptation and assimilation: The McKroket.

The McKroket is a sandwich from McDonald’s available only in the Netherlands, taking the Dutch fondness for fried meaty goop and shaping it into a disc suitable for bunnery. Just as a word of advice, be careful when eating all krokets and kroket-like products, as the ragout can and will burn your tongue if you bite in too suddenly.

Anyway, I opened up my pack of nattou, added the soy sauce and mustard, and gave it a mighty stir before placing some on top of the kroket part of the sandwich. With the top bun back on my culinary Frankenstein monster was complete.

And you know what? It was fantastic. I know 99% of people reading won’t believe me, even the people who do like nattou, but I am completely serious when I say I would do this again if given the opportunity. It is a complex mix of savory flavors between the ragout and the strong nuttiness of the nattou, and the combination of the crunchiness of the fried crust and the chewiness of the fermented soy beans made each bite strangely satisfying, hough keep in mind that I find nattou itself to be a purveyor of contentment, so your mileage may vary.

I guess if you’re in Japan, you could just buy some nattou and put it on a croquet pan but it wouldn’t be quite the same. Maybe you should fly to Europe just to do this.