When Calliope Mori debuted as the first member of hololive English, she helped transform people’s perceptions of VTubing by showing that the music and personalities didn’t have to be limited to assumptions about idol culture and kawaii aesthetic. Over time, however, she has changed her approach to music, going from primarily rap to rock with occasional rap elements, and she even does some of the idol stuff. In fact, she now finds some of her earlier songs to be somewhat embarrassing, and it’s a transition that I find intriguing. 

It’s perfectly normal to cringe over one’s past artistic work, and genre changes also aren’t unfathomable. But I think in Calli’s case, the rapper + reaper combo has been a tricky thing to pull off because it requires two different and at times contradictory forms of kayfabe. That is to say, she has two create and maintain her act convincingly enough that the audience can suspend disbelief, and she has to do it twice over.

Before I dive in, I want to preface that neither music or rap (and its culture) are subjects I am an expert on. Everything I learn I basically pick up primarily from others, so if I come across as a tourist, then well, guilty as charged.

On an episode of Holomelo Radio with fellow hololive member Nerissa Ravencroft and musician Lotus Juice of Persona fame, Calli mentioned that she eased up on the rapping because she can’t bring the confidence expected of a dedicated rapper, especially in English. While her inspiration for getting into the genre was always Japanese rap (notably FAKE TYPE.) as opposed to American, the fact that her primary language is English means that any claims to be an amazing rapper puts her in contention with some real heavy hitters and a culture + fandom that isn’t afraid to let their criticisms be heard. Being a white Texan also complicates matters.

Black video essayist FD Signifier describes rap as having a form of kayfabe akin to pro wrestling. A lot of performers will talk about how dangerous they are, how much money they have, why they’re the greatest on the mic, etc., but in every case, it’s a persona with some truth blended into the fiction at best. The crucial part of this performative presentation is that the rapper has to make you believe that they believe they’re the best in the world. Calli appears to have trouble buying into her own hype, perhaps because rap is such a heavily scrutinized and competitive art form. Even an actual commercial and critical success like the subject of FD’s video above, J Cole, has gotten a lot of flack from some commenters. His apology and withdrawal from beefing with Kendrick Lamar was often seen not as a welcome example of humility but instead a marker of weakness and cowardice.

While most would have only one level of kayfabe, Calli has a second: her identity and lore as a VTuber, specifically her persona as an immortal grim reaper. While VTubers don’t necessarily have to go all in on the assumed persona, it becomes a point of connection for viewers and potential fans, and it makes a difference in presentation compared to other streamers and creators. However, trying to keep up a complete alter ego based on a single aspect becomes an increasingly difficult task over time, let alone two aspects.

It’d be like if Eminem had to be “Slim Shady” in most songs and public appearances, and also Slim Shady was a vampire for some reason. Or imagine if the Undertaker in pro wrestling was not just some kind of undead wizard (and occasional biker) but also a rap star. One of the reasons rapping worked for a young John Cena was because “Doctor of Thuganomics” was his primary gimmick at that point in his career was that he was supposed to be a normal-ish guy (albeit with freakish strength) otherwise. VTubing is also similar to wrestling in the way minor past accomplishments can become the entire basis of a performer’s identity, because of how they allow a performer to stand out in their respective spaces, and this can be both an asset and a limitation in both worlds.

What I think undergirds her stylistic switch is that Calli wants to be vulnerable in her music. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that one of her most beloved early songs is “End of a Life,” which is about guilt over becoming a massive success as a VTuber and leapfrogging over friends and mentors to whom she felt deep gratitude. In fact, Calli originally applied to hololive on a whim after her friends barely convinced her to try it out, and she beat them out despite taking it less seriously. While some of the most acclaimed rap songs express profound pain, rap is often about having that air of strength and swagger, and it feels like she increasingly gets away from that bravado with every album (such as in “Memento.”)

The current Mori is currently making what I find to be the best music of her career, like the opening she did for Patlabor EZY, “Reimei Compass.” She’s still honing her rap skills too, like on her cover of Gurren-Lagann’s “Libera Me from Hell” alongside Elizabeth Rose Bloodflame. Seeing the way she has morphed her identity as a performer is encouraging. It’s as if she’s saying that the image you’re given, or even the one created by your own hands, should not be a prison that keeps you from further discovering your potential or your passion.